Navigating new friendships at University
No doubt this was definitely at the forefront of my mind as I’m sure it was for most people I know and have spoken to. It is perfectly normal to be a little nervous about making new friends, especially in a whole new environment. But let me tell you, it is an amazing experience and everyone is in the same boat.
In terms of tips and advice on making friends, there are so many things you can do. I know that some people may be a little more extroverted or introverted than others – and that’s ok! You don’t have to force yourself to go on nights out if that’s not your cup of tea. What comes to mind is that cooking and baking with those in your accommodation is a really effortless way to bond with people you don’t know that well. Everyone has got something to do and almost 9 times out of 10 it will foster conversation in some way or other. There’s bound to be some that are less confident at cooking or baking but this is such a great way to learn from each other, and even just have a laugh when things don’t quite go according to plan. Just please don’t burn the kitchen down...
When you are in student halls and accommodation, try not to overthink interactions with other new people and get too nervous about initiating conversation. Sometimes you could end up talking about the most unexpected topics which can actually be quite entertaining and enlightening. For the most part, people love being asked questions whether it’s about something in general or about themselves. You can figure out what interests you may have in common or maybe even have a healthy and insightful discussion about something. One thing is for certain, try your best not to stay cooped up in your room all the time. If your accommodation has a communal space and/or kitchen, you could consider doing your work there sometimes. However, if that’s too distracting for you, you can simply try to spend mealtimes and some downtime there.
Don’t be afraid to initiate plans! For example, suggest watching films or starting a new tv series together. This takes very little effort, is a brilliant way to spend time together, and you can get to know what kind of shows and entertainment your new friends enjoy – it will also encourage people to take a break from studying and recharge. And if you’re someone like me, knowing that I have plans arranged at a certain time acts as a soft deadline and plays quite an effective part in forcing me to get my work done so I can fully enjoy whatever has been planned. Other examples of ideas could be: bowling, mini golf, trying out new restaurants, cafes and bars, going out to clubs, doing your food shop together, playing board games, going to the gym together, hosting themed food nights, and even just going for a walk. When you’re in a new town or city, it’s quite nice to explore and really get to know the area!
So, the next point is something that was really valuable to me and without question played a huge part of my social life at university. Go get involved and join a club or society! Do the rounds at freshers’ fair and have a good look at all the societies. You can also find them on your university website. I underestimated just how many people you meet and become really good friends with when you’re a part of a society. You will meet people from other courses and accommodations, and older years who – I can promise you – are always willing to help out, share their insights, and give you advice both on the academic and welfare front. Even in many sports societies, a lot of the times, you can be a social member if you don’t play the sport – but giving it a go is definitely encouraged! You absolutely do not have had to have played for years and years previously to join, and what is the university experience if not a great chance to try something new!
All in all, do try to be flexible where you can (of course, within reason), keep an open mind, and know that you don’t have to have university life nailed down to a T by the end of the first month – or even the first term to be honest. It is more than ok that some people you meet in freshers’ week you might not cross paths with again, and a lot of the times some of the people you end up becoming really close to are ones that you meet later on.
There is so much change all of a sudden, so don’t forget to be kind to yourself and let yourself adjust day by day. It is so important that you know where you can find support and who you can reach out to if you need help in any aspect of your life at university (keep your eyes peeled for a more focused insight on this point). Throughout the duration of your course, you will be meeting new people all the time; it will help you grow as a person and I think that’s one of the more wonderful things about university.
Emily Jin is Head of Media and Communications at STEMaccess, after graduating from Imperial College London with a BSc in Medical Biosciences with Management.